Change is inevitable. Some changes we anticipate, while others, especially unexpected ones, can evoke a range of emotions and require us to utilise coping mechanisms and seek help from our wider support systems.

Even planned changes can bring about a lot of emotional burden, whether it's nervous anticipation, a sense of loss and the passage of time, bidding farewell to something you've enjoyed, or impatience while waiting for the change to occur.

At Motional, we understand that all children require support during times of change, regardless of the nature of the change. Children with lower emotional wellbeing, who have experienced adversity, or those who are neurodivergent may require substantial support. The less secure or attached a child is, the more challenging the change will likely be for them.We need to acknowledge that change is unpredictable, and within the body, unpredictability equates to risk. This uncertainty activates our flight, fight, freeze, fawn and appeasement responses, which can, in turn, be seen in the room and at home as dysregulation, defensive, and frightened behaviours.

Children experience daily changes, such as attending school, interacting with different adults, and returning home. Some face more significant life changes like moving, making family adjustments, or losing loved ones. Every child has a different history of experience with change.

Some children may not outwardly demonstrate distress during the change process, but this does not mean they are not experiencing it. They may be quiet and withdrawn. It is important to give all children the time and space to explore the difficult feelings that may come up.

It is also important to keep in mind that our own approach to managing change can impact how we model managing change to children.

Supporting children through planned change.

The evidence tells us that the transition between school years, particularly the step from primary to secondary or middle school, is a key moment in a child’s life. This change brings particular concerns for the child before, during and after the change though these concerns change as time progresses. Prior to the transition ‘getting lost’ and ‘being bullied’ feature highly, and as the transition to Secondary happens ‘losing friends’ and ‘detention’ become the predominant concerns, with ‘being bullied’ re-emerging as a concern towards the end of Year Seven.

How we support children through this change is important and can be thought about in three ways, all of which must be delivered alongside a relational approach:

Cognitive interventions: examples may include providing written information about secondary school, organising class discussions to address worries, conducting assemblies about the transition, and utilising web-based resources.

Behavioural interventions: this may involve organising visits to secondary school, providing additional visits to familiarise students with the secondary school environment, teaching key skills through PSHE (Personal, Social, Health, and Economic) education, adjusting timetables to reflect secondary school arrangements, and teaching secondary school vocabulary.

Systemic interventions: this may consist of bridging projects, establishing peer support groups for students transitioning to the same secondary school, creating pupil passports, meeting with parents, and organising parent support groups.

The evidence suggests that a ‘Whole School Approach’ best supports transition. This approach involves implementing strategies aimed at addressing common concerns experienced by most pupils. For most children, systemic strategies, especially the use of bridging projects, are linked to decreased school anxiety over time. However, this may not be the case for children with additional needs. In fact, interventions that appear effective in reducing anxiety for typically developing children could potentially increase anxiety in children who are neurodivergent or have additional needs. Therefore, it is crucial that the whole school approach is supplemented with additional strategies for vulnerable individuals, tailored on a case-by-case basis and provided alongside an Emotionally Available Adult.

How to support a child through a transition period.

Trusted adult relationships build a child's capacity to manage change without it being a stressful experience over time. Reflection before, during, and after the change is essential for this to happen. Providing some emotional narrative for children by naming and referring to the different feelings that are present in times of change can help children regulate their feelings.

It can be helpful to have some ‘emotional narrative’ sentence starters in mind, particularly about the common concerns outlined above:

“I know this is a really big change you're going through - leaving the primary school you've been at for years and heading off to secondary school. It's normal to have a lot of different feelings swirling around about that…”

“Part of you might feel sad leaving behind teachers/friends you've had for a long time and who know you so well. You might miss the routines and the building that felt so comfortable and familiar. It can be hard to say goodbye to that…”

“I wonder if you’re feeling scared/excited/worried about making new friends, joining new clubs or sports, and learning subjects you've never studied before. It's going to be a whole new level of independence and responsibility.”

“Change can bring up a jumble of emotions - happiness, anxiety, excitement, and grief for what you're leaving behind. All of those feelings are okay.”

“All of your feelings are valid. If you feel worried or upset, that's understandable with such a big life change. But also remember all the strengths and bravery you've shown before when facing new challenges.”

Preparation is key

Validate Feelings

  • The transition from primary to secondary school is a major life event. For many children, changing year groups is also a significant change. Allow children to express any worries, fears, or sadness about leaving the familiarity of their primary school or their current teacher.
  • Reassure them that it's normal to have mixed feelings - excited but nervous, happy but sad to leave friends/teachers behind.
  • Maintain routines - as much as possible, try to keep routines and schedules consistent before and after the transition. Familiarity can be comforting during transition.
  • If morning/evening routines must change, implement the new routine a few weeks before the school transition.

Teach Coping Strategies

  • Encourage relaxation techniques like deep breathing, visualisation or listening to calming music when feelings become overwhelming.
  • Remind children of challenges they've successfully overcome before to build confidence.

Connect with New School

  • Attend orientation events so children can tour the new building, meet teachers, etc. The more familiar it becomes, the less daunting.
  • Encourage parents to have their child practise their new route to/from school, modelling independence.

Foster Excitement

  • While validating feelings of loss, also focus on the positives - making new friends, cool classes, growing independence.
  • Encourage parents to let their child help prepare, like shopping for supplies.

Build Their Confidence

  • "You've shown you can adapt to changes before, like when... I know you've got this. If you feel worried, remember your coping tools…”

In Summary

Change is inevitable, and some of those changes feel very significant to the young people in our care. Notably, it’s not just the change but the emotional experience of the change that impacts outcomes, too!

Focus and deliberate action should be taken, particularly around changes such as moving to Secondary school, where we can predict the likelihood and type of concerns and provide generalised and focused relational support.